HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
