So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
