hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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