She's JV to your varsity
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
