she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
