you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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