How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
