6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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