you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
