Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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