I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
