She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
