Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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