What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
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You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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