My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I understand Curling. That high.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
