What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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