Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We're too hungover to prance.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
