I'm jealous of your bromance
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
