with your own penis?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize