i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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