real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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