I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Your dad touched me again.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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