You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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