you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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