I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
