maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize