you guys were way drunker than both of me
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
