You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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