Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
