My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
