I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
