Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
