Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
