I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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