the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
