yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
