Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I AM VODKA MAN
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
