Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
