dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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