Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
