you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
