I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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