okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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