I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
