he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
