It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
