dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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