Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
