3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
look no pants
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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