I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize