Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
