how can u be prego again
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
