considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
