And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
