a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
do herpes really smell.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
