Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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