Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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