I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
