Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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