Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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