he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have aggressive nipples.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
